10 Signs You’re Dating a Hacker

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Here are a few things that may happen when you meet someone and you talk to each other all dirty nerdy.

  1. Exchanging GPG encryption keys is an important moment in defining your relationship status.
  2. Def Con is your yearly wild getaway with each other… and your romantic getaways just happen to coincide with other security conferences.
  3. Self-destructing messaging apps aren’t allowed unless they do what they say they do. (Because you survived LineCon at Def Con to go to that talk and it was your favorite and oh hell no, ain’t nobody getting your device and rebuilding your message history.)
  4. All new tech has to be vetted for zero-day vulns before you use it together. (Eyebrows aren’t even raised when your hardware-loving software hacker considers snooping naughty toy firmware.)
  5. Forget relationship statuses: you avoid being linked in places that are currently accessible by PRISM. (If both of you believe PRISM exists, of course.)
  6. Public pictures of the two of you (together) don’t exist because hell to the no way, creepy ass facial recognition technology.
  7. Passcodes are very long, and you’ve bonded over meaningful conversations about password management practices.
  8. Capture the flag = radio silence… and you’re totally okay with that. (No, really, sweetheart… shut up and code, I’ll be here when it’s over.)
  9. When traveling together, you’ve pre-planned for opting-out of the Millennium Wave Scanner and you can feel the TSA being all UGH your civil liberties are srsly holding up the line, jerks.
  10. You know that there’s nothing dirtier that you could possibly do together than write pretty much anything in PHP. (Because gross.)
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