Last night, I took to Twitter to yell about something complicated, anger-inducing, emotional and downright frightening: the recent, persistent violation of my personal space that I’ve endured in San Francisco. Sometimes when I have a problem that needs solving, quick, short bursts of concise text help me get to the center of the issue: in this case, I’ve lived here for a few years now, but have never felt as physically threatened and violated as I have in finding my way through its streets as of late.
Until just a few weeks ago, I’ve been lucky– I’ve walked the streets of this city relatively unimpeded for 3.5 years, purposely blending in and not sticking out from the crowd. After yet again having a person lay his hands on me without my permission and without good reason for the sixth time in a month yesterday evening, I couldn’t bottle it up anymore.
So I let loose…
Really, really tired of the amount of energy it takes to be a woman in this city lately.
— Jessy Irwin (@jessysaurusrex) August 26, 2014
Tonight, I was on my way into my building when a guy grabs my arm and said “Hey baby girl…” Literally grabs my arm and pulls me backwards — Jessy Irwin (@jessysaurusrex) August 26, 2014
Protip: It is NOT okay to touch me or to pull me in ANY direction without prior consent unless you’re saving me from imminent danger
— Jessy Irwin (@jessysaurusrex) August 26, 2014
I yelled at him— because of an incident two weeks ago, I was out of pepper spray— and told him to never lay a hand on me again, ever — Jessy Irwin (@jessysaurusrex) August 26, 2014
Still, this isn’t the first time lately that someone has gotten in my personal space, pursued me or laid a hand on me in public. NOT cool.
— Jessy Irwin (@jessysaurusrex) August 26, 2014
Over the weekend, a guy literally chased me for a block and a half— he was literally running— to “ask me a question” — Jessy Irwin (@jessysaurusrex) August 26, 2014
Does it really never occur to these men that literally running after a woman in public might be a creepy, scary thing? Ever?
— Jessy Irwin (@jessysaurusrex) August 26, 2014
As a woman, there is nothing creepier than being out and about and having a huge, brawny man who just ran after you corner you on the street — Jessy Irwin (@jessysaurusrex) August 26, 2014
Wait— there is something creepier. That said brawny man getting angry/pissed that I, the scared person didn’t accept his unwanted advances
— Jessy Irwin (@jessysaurusrex) August 26, 2014
These two incidents aren’t isolated incidents— there’s lewd, crude and rude catcalling on my morning commute to work every day — Jessy Irwin (@jessysaurusrex) August 26, 2014
Just a few weeks ago, I ended up using the rest of (yes, I’ve used it before) my pepper spray on someone who tried grabbing me one morning
— Jessy Irwin (@jessysaurusrex) August 26, 2014
I was walking down a safe street to work, someone grabbed me. Suddenly, I went backwards. Heavy pressure on my purse + bag — Jessy Irwin (@jessysaurusrex) August 26, 2014
It wasn’t even 9am and I was screaming my head off at someone trying to steal my bag. Not cool. Pepper sprayed him like mad, ran off.
— Jessy Irwin (@jessysaurusrex) August 26, 2014
The best part of the exchange? Group of men on the opposite corner. “Hey baby, you really effed him up, don’t wanna mess with you!” — Jessy Irwin (@jessysaurusrex) August 26, 2014
It doesn’t matter what I’m wearing, which route I take to work, or if I take a damned Uber home— so tired of being worried about my safety.
— Jessy Irwin (@jessysaurusrex) August 26, 2014
tl;dr— Men, don’t put your hands any other woman without permission. Don’t catcall. Don’t chase her down the street. No, never not ever. — Jessy Irwin (@jessysaurusrex) August 26, 2014
Thank you everyone for your kind words in response to my accidental tweetstorm. <3
— Jessy Irwin (@jessysaurusrex) August 26, 2014
Yes! I ran out of characters. No one should ever touch ANYONE without permission RT @JacobEthanWhite: you or any other human person. — Jessy Irwin (@jessysaurusrex) August 26, 2014
Over the past few years, I’ve picked up some “survival motions” that I shouldn’t have to go through for my own safety and sanity. I shouldn’t have to do some of these these things, by the way– my body, my clothing, nothing about my physical presence should be up for public policing and shouldn’t be the basis for unwanted attention, but they all are. I should not have to worry about being chased down, but I do worry about how to safely escape being overpowered, attacked, propositioned, about being told to smile or about another person laying his (or her) hands on me in public without permission or no apparent reason. I shouldn’t have to worry about these things, no one should ever have to worry about these things, but lately they’re all I can think about– and it’s not okay.
[Thank you again to everyone who reached out with a kind message or support in the middle of my rant. I truly, truly appreciate it.]
jessysaurusrex 