So if there’s anything at which I think I’m remotely good in this world, it’s ranting. I love, love, love ranting and to exercise my most favorite of pasttimes, complete with silly faces, I had planned a series of rants about the various failings, misgivings, glitches, bugs and some of the clunkier UI in some of the various apps I use on a daily basis.
First up, of course, was something I wanted to be enthusiastic about but couldn’t, Spotify. My main grievance was that there seemed to be no way to prevent a listening session from being shared with all of Facebook once I had signed in. While I’m usually cool with sharing (and sometimes oversharing), I wasn’t cool with all of Facebook knowing about my terrible (read: repetitive) listening habits. To prepare for an epic rant– I didn’t want to be misinformed!– I launched Spotify and started
dicking clicking around…
“Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa…”
“… what? “
“Since when has THIS existed?”
“WHAT IS THIS PRIVATE SESSION BULLSHIT I’VE NEVER SEEN BEFORE AND WHERE HAS IT BEEN?”
HOW DID I NOT KNOW ABOUT IT WHEN I WANTED TO LISTEN TO MUSIC ON REPEAT FOR FUCKING HOURS WITHOUT LETTING EVERYONE ON FACEBOOK KNOW THAT I’M THAT GIRL? Y U NO TELL ME THAT, HUH?! NOW I’VE HORRIFIED EVERYONE I KNOW ON FACEBOOK WITH THE NUMBER OF TIMES I’VE LISTENED TO DRAKE SINCE HIS ALBUM DROPPED AND ALL OF THAT COULD HAVE BEEN AVOIDED IN THE FIRST PLACE? ”
I was almost one of those idiots on the internet who knows nothing about the very thing against which they’re railing. Oops.
While the discovery of the “Private Session” feature topples my main qualm with Spotify, it isn’t entirely off the hook. I still have no idea where to begin fixing the fuckery that is my local library– why is there two of everything?!– and arguably, as someone who self-identifies as a technology enthusiast, it is my fault for not taking the time to get to know Spotify’s byzantine (to me) functionalities. I may yet forgive it for being a pain in the ass, though, if your full potential is realized and I
achieve nirvana live in a world in which I never have to use iTunes again.