Instead of spilling another 1,200+ words on a blog post– no one will ever read this blog if I do that every time– I thought I’d share an e-mail that I wrote about my evening. For those of you know me personally, I’m sure you’re can already hear my voice saying every single word in your head. And, well, warning, there’s a very liberal use of profanity, especially the word “fuck.” [N.B. It’s the internet– I am well aware that I’m making ridiculous faces in the public domain and I’ve said the word fuck quite a bit, but I don’t care whatsoever if this is retweeted or shared. And despite iTunes and Siri, I still love Apple. ]
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Last night was one of those nights when I needed to sit down and get some work done in a cafe. I ordered my usual mocha and as you can see, I was incredibly thrilled about the work in front of me. I did put my serious work face (plus Kanye) on for two hours and after accomplishing next to nothing, I tired out (read: they closed) and went home to do my favorite thing in the world, snuggle with my MacBook (Pro).
In case you’re wondering, that looks something like this. (Poor me, I has an exhausted.)
Four pillows and two blankets later– it was really, really comfortable — I even got my “I’m dicking around on the internet face” on, which usually looks way less “duck lips” than this.
… and then it happened.
A fucking popup destroyed my internet playtime.
I was all, “Huh? Why? What even? What the fuck is this thing I have to pay attention to now?”
“Wait, what?… fucking iTunes? AGAIN?! Are you fucking kidding me?!”
“NO, SERIOUSLY, DIDN’T I JUST FUCKING UPDATE iTUNES LIKE THREE DAYS AGO?! WHAT IS THIS SHIT?!”
“This literally cannot fucking be possible. Didn’t I, really, wasn’t it like …it was like three days ago, seriously! I am so sick of fucking updating iTunes! Do I have to restart my computer for this? Maybe I don’t want to restart my computer right now, SO THERE. I am so not updating this bullshit right now. And seriously, seriously, every three fucking days… Who do I have to bang at Apple to get fewer fucking iTunes updates?”
…
“Uggggghhhh, FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE. I’ll fucking update it tomorrow.”
[Fin.]
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